Empty
by grayribbon
Summary: Is a queen's value based on what she produces for her kingdom? Susan returned after her family died in the train wreck, married Caspian. Seems like she has everything, but if she did, why is she so empty? One-Shot.


**Empty**

Disclaimer** :** I don't own anything regarding the 'The Chronicles of Narnia' franchise.

* * *

She sat straight.

She sat straight, hands on her lap as she stares out the window.

She sat straight alone; her teal skirt from her dress fell to the floor. Her brown hair fell loosely on her shoulders. She still wore her crown; and the posture that she held does not match the look on her face; she was pale, she was empty.

Empty.

That would be a way to describe how she is now. Empty.

Susan stared out her bedroom window, the high panes and view of the ocean was clear as the red velvet curtains were open for her; and the sunlight came rushing in. She stared out her bedroom window; her gaze; empty, her thoughts; empty, and she herself was empty.

Empty.

The word was beginning to taste strangely on her tongue.

Empty.

* * *

_As the man left, Caspian smiled widely and he entered his room. Their room. _

_She was standing in front of the window, clearly waiting for him, and when he did, Caspian kissed her and they laughed aloud. Caspian seated Susan on their bed and he sat in front of her. They chatted and talked, they did nothing to hide their excitement. When they had finished talking, Caspian paused for a moment. But then he smiled the most mischievous smile Susan has ever seen and he lifted her up to the air. The rest of the day they spent smiling at each other and announcing the news to the subjects. _

* * *

"How is she?"

"She drank some tea this morning, sire. But unfortunately, nothing more," the personal maid of the queen said to her king.

"Nothing?"  
"Not even touching the silverware, Majesty," She said again.

Caspian silenced for a moment. He took the food tray from the woman's hands.

"Thank you," he said to her. At these words, the maid bowed and left for the kitchen.

Caspian stared at the door in front of him. He knocked on the door and did not expect an answer.

Susan had been like this for quite some time. She wasn't this much affected when it happened the first time. Caspian had kissed her, and made her feel good about herself over and over again, and she would end up –after talking to him—feeling good and optimistic once again. Slowly but surely, the queen's face had glowed life again and she was back to being the strong queen she is.

* * *

"_I'm sorry," the man -who was by now seen a lot inside the castle-,said to the king. _

_Caspian did not say anything, though the disappointment in his eyes was clear. But he quickly snapped out of it and entered their room. Susan was there, lying on the bed, sweating and pale, and her hair were messy. She was still in her nightgown, and she turned her head as she heard someone opened their door. _

_Caspian looked at his wife and sat beside her. He leaned in and they closed their eyes, foreheads together and Caspian tried to inhale what's left of his queen. He then kissed her, though brief, a kiss that felt warmer than any other. And that night, Susan fell asleep with her husband hugging her on their bed._

* * *

And then Susan's glow began to die out. Nobody saw this coming. She never cried, though. She kept telling herself that it was all going to be okay, but when it wasn't, Susan was dead inside. Caspian had tried everything he can to tend to her; he even took days off. They walked in the gardens, and Caspian tried to get Susan to talk about it, but to no avail. He then stopped trying as he began to realize that his queen was never indeed the do-and-tell person. And so Caspian tried to understand. He understood now; that all he can do was listen when she was ready to talk, and talk when she was ready to hear, but only when she is ready. All of Narnia felt for their monarchs; they too, felt the pain. Caspian did not try to force anything out of Susan, but he felt that something was wrong.

He wakes up every day from the last time, finding Susan was still in her bed and still pale. She was permitted out of court for almost 2 months now, this being the longest. The first time it was a week later that she came back, and the second time for 9 days, and the third time for 2 weeks, but then Susan looked like she gave up, although she did not do anything at all to say that she did. She never talked about it, never showed her sorrow, never showed any feelings at all, and she certainly did not cry about it. After the fourth time, Susan was just quiet, and she had closed herself up altogether.

* * *

_Susan did not even believe in the pain anymore. It wasn't even making sense. Caspian was asleep beside her, and he quickly woke up as she stirred on her bed; eyes still closed. And when she realized he was looking at her for signs of anything wrong, Susan opened her eyes and looked right back to her husband; eyes watery from the pain and sweating. And then he knew what was going on. _

_They quickly called for help, but only to clean up the mess and Caspian went on trying to help his queen clean herself. She was given tea, then, and bread and cheese; he figured his wife needed some glucose in her system if she'd make it through the night. After all the help had left and Susan was clean, the king and his queen stayed up. Although they did not talk about it for a while, Caspian was finally going mad and he started a conversation. _

"_How are you feeling?" he said, sitting beside his wife and put his arm around her shoulders.  
"I'm sorry, my king," she said to her husband. _

"_You really think that is what I expect?"  
"I know what you expect, Caspian, and I am sorry for not able to present it to you,"_

"_I expect nothing from you, Susan except for your love and hope that it will happen when it is meant to," he said to her._

_Susan silenced for a moment before she replied. _

"_Oh, Caspian," she said. "Was it ever?" _

"_It still is, Susan. Just believe. Please believe," he said, almost pleading. _

_They both stared out to the ocean view. The air was cool. _

"_I want to, Caspian," she said. "I just don't think I can," _

_Her husband then put his hand on Susan's cheeks._

"_You can. Just believe," _

_And not long after those words, Susan fell asleep on Caspian's arms and he lifted his wife back into the bed. He, meanwhile, did not sleep for the rest of the night. Caspian had a feeling, suddenly, that something bad was going to happen. But like what he said to Susan, Caspian chose to have faith. And then the king spent what's left of the night to stare at his sleeping queen._

* * *

_Empty,_ Susan had rewind the word on her mind a million times.

She sat there, still straight, still on her teal dress, and still wearing her crown.

She stared out the window with a blank look upon her eyes, although her mind was filled with questions.

They told her to believe.  
They told her that everything was going to be okay.

But everything wasn't. Everything was far from okay; just like this one is going to be.

Susan still stared blankly as she thought this.

Everything was taken away from her.  
Her brothers died. Her sister died. Her father and mother died, even the person she expected, -all four of them- died also. And now that she is once again pregnant, Susan thought to herself.

It will all eventually die.  
No matter what she does to take care of her pregnancy, no matter what, it will die.

And so why wait?

* * *

Caspian opened the door and the tray of food fell crashing to the floor when he saw it all.

She just laid there; hopeless, childless, lifeless.

He ran to her, everything was a blur, and not long after, Trumpkin and Glenstorm along with the house maids came and stared as their king screamed his queen's name in agony, crying hysterically while holding her upper body in his arms.

* * *

Susan's face grew paler as the blood flowed out from her. She stared at the piece of meat on the floor in front of her feet. Her once teal gown was now dark blue and red, her hand also.

And just like that, Susan was once again, empty.

* * *

**Reviews and comments are very much appreciated! It may not be what Narnia's all about,but I just think it's sort of out there. What do you guys think?**


End file.
